Mario Lanza - Arrivederci Roma

One of my favorite versions of this classical Italian song

The Geometry of Pasta

Most cookbooks are replete with photographs to whet the appetite. Sauces drip from pasta-laden forks, and you can feed a squad of hungry soldiers with a single spaghetti recipe.

"The Geometry of Pasta," by Caz Hildebrand and Jacob Kenedy, is the antithesis of this. This unassuming book has no photographs. The cover design and black-and-white illustrations of pasta — from shells to spaghetti to egg noodles — are by Hildebrand, an award-winning British graphic designer.

Turns out the book doesn't need mouthwatering pictures and huge portions to be extremely tasty.

"People have been making pasta for thousands of years ... and they've had a long time to get it right. There have been a lot of learning and practice. Lots of people have done the legwork," Kenedy says in a phone interview. "There's a lot more value to be looking back before deciding how to step forward with cuisine than just trying to step ahead in the future."

Kenedy spent several years going through Italy, collecting pasta recipes from dozens of cooks, mastering them and now serving them at Bocca Di Lupo, a restaurant in London's Soho district where he is the owner and chef.

"Geometry" starts very basic - such as how to create three basic tomato sauces from scratch - then dives into more exotic recipes. While most of the ingredients can be found at the local grocery, Whole Foods or a gourmet market is your friend when you're searching out buffalo milk mozzarella for the Penne al Forno.

The recipes can appear unhealthy, but Kenedy points out "the quantities of butter, oil and cream can be halved to produce a healthier more domestic version of any of the dishes," and, he adds, that applies to the amount of salt as well.

The book stemmed from Hildebrand's fascination with different shapes and sizes of pasta and how they suited various sauces and recipes.

"What's so lovely about pasta is that a lot of the shapes do echo things that have influenced the pasta makers, whether they are shells or indeed crankshafts. They really are food imitating life," said Hildebrand, who has designed best-selling cookbooks. "What we found when we researched is that they really are products of their time. You can date their provenance to what was happening in industrial advances or natural things, which seems like a crazy thing to say about pasta."

For example, dischi volanti, or "flying saucers," was designed in 1947 after a reported UFO sighting in the U.S. skies.

Finally, if you want to learn Italian, this is a place to start. Bigoli, cappelletti, gramigne, canederli, lumache and orecchiette are names that might not come tripping off the tongue of a casual eater of pasta more used to spaghetti, lasagna and tortellini, but don't worry — "The Geometry of Pasta" covers them too.

Deliciously. ___

Capelli D'Angelo al Burro e Limone

{ pound capelli d'angelo (angel's hair) pasta 1/3 cup butter Grated zest of 1 lemon A grating of nutmeg A few drops of lemon juice A little grated Parmesan, to serve A few basil leaves (optional)

While the capelli d'angelo (angel hair pasta) is cooking, pour about 1 cup of the cooking water into a pan and boil, swirling in the butter. Add the lemon zest, nutmeg and a little pepper and salt if needed. Allow to reduce to the consistency of light cream (add water if it goes too far), then add the pasta (drained and, as ever, slightly on the undercooked side.) Stir in and add a very few drops of lemon juice to taste.

Serve with a little Parmesan. A few basil leaves, stirred in at the same time as the lemon juice, are a pleasant addition. Roughly four servings. (I recommend adding the basil.)

Vatican Bank faces Money-laundering Probe

Rome, Italy (CNN) -- Italian authorities are investigating the Vatican Bank over possible violations of money laundering regulations, the Bank of Italy told CNN Tuesday.

Another Italian bank alerted Bank of Italy investigators to two Vatican Bank transactions that did not appear to comply with anti-money laundering requirements, the Bank of Italy said.

When Bank of Italy investigators told legal authorities about the transactions, they were told that judicial authorities were already investigating the Vatican Bank, the Bank of Italy said.

The Vatican said Tuesday it is "perplexed and baffled" by the public prosecutor's actions, and the Holy See aims for "complete transparency" in its financial operations.

The Vatican said it has "full trust" in Ettore Tedeschi, the head of the bank -- which is officially known as the Istituto per le Opere di Religione.

The Bank of Italy investigation was prompted by two wire transfers which the Vatican Bank asked Credito Artigiano to carry out, the Bank of Italy said.

The Vatican Bank did not provide enough information about the transfers -- one for 20 million euros (about $26 million), and one for 3 million euros (about $4 million) -- to comply with the law, prompting the Bank of Italy to suspend them automatically, it said.

The Vatican Bank is subject to particularly stringent anti-money laundering regulations because Italian law does not consider it to operate within the European Union.

It must supply more detailed information about transactions than European Union banks have to give.

Source:  CNN
CNN's Hada Messia in Rome, Italy, contributed to this report.

Mafia Arrests Reveal Mob was "Going Green"

Police in Italy have seized Mafia-linked assets worth $1.9 billion – the biggest mob haul ever – in an operation revealing that the crime group was trying to "go green" by laundering money through alternative energy companies.

Investigators said the assets included more than 40 companies, hundreds of parcels of land, buildings, factories, bank accounts, stocks, fast cars and luxury yachts.
Most of the seized assets were located in Sicily, home of the Cosa Nostra, and in southern Calabria, home of its sister crime organisation, the 'Ndrangheta.

At the centre of the investigation was Sicilian businessman Vito Nicastri, 54, a man known as the "Lord of the Wind" because of his vast holdings in alternative energy concerns, mostly wind farms.
Interior Minister Roberto Maroni called the operation "the largest seizure ever made" against the Mafia.
General Antonio Girone, head of the national anti-Mafia agency DIA, said Nicastri was linked to Matteo Messina Denaro, believed to be Mafia's current "boss of bosses".
Investigators said Nicastri's companies ran numerous wind farms as well as factories that produced solar energy panels.
"It's no surprise that the Sicilian Mafia was infiltrating profitable areas like wind and solar energy," Palermo magistrate Francesco Messineo told a news conference.
Officials said the operation was based on a 2,400-page investigative report and followed the arrest of Nicastri last year.
Senator Costantino Garraffa, a member of the parliamentary anti-Mafia committee, said the Mafia was trying to break into the "new economy," of alternative energy as it sought out virgin ventures to launder money from drugs and other rackets.
In the past few years, Italian authorities have cracked down hard on the crime group that once terrified the country.

The cupola, or hierarchy, of the Sicilian Mafia has been in freefall since the mid-1990s, when police began arresting its most enigmatic and charismatic bosses.

Salvatore "The Beast" Riina, who had declared war on the state and ordered a string of killings, bombings and kidnappings, was arrested in 1993 after nearly a quarter of a century on the run.
His successor, Bernardo Provenzano, was captured in 2006 after 43 years on the run. Both Riina and Provenzano hailed from Corleone, the hill town near Palermo made famous by the Godfather movies.
Provenzano was succeeded by Salvatore "The Baron" Lo Piccolo, who was in turn arrested a year later in 2007.

Police say the circle is now closing in on Messina Denaro, who hails from the grim western Sicilian town of Castelvetrano and is known as the "Playboy Boss" because he likes fast cars, women and gold watches. He has been on the run since 1993.

Video of an Italian Mountain Collapsing

Here is a very interesting video that shows the collapse of an Italian mountain.   As far as we can tell this story did not appear in the news - nor could we find out exactly where this took place ... but from the video you can see clearly that this is an actual event.

Who knew mountains could just flow down hill like this?

Click here to see the video.

Forte dei Marmi turns against rich tourists

Glitzy Tuscan retreat is trying to stop locals being forced out by wealthy Russian visitors.

After years of welcoming well-heeled tourists from around the world with open arms, one of Tuscany's smartest, most discreet beach resorts is in revolt against outsiders, wealthy or not.

Forte dei Marmi – the traditional summer retreat for Italian captains of industry, writers and film stars – is changing the law to try to stop locals fleeing because of house prices driven out of control by incoming Russian millionaires. The town's combative mayor, Umberto Buratti, is reserving space next to luxury villas with sea views for new homes that will only be sold to locally-born buyers or long-term residents. Other Italian resorts with similar problems will monitor the experiment with interest.

"We want to safeguard the character of the town instead of seeing it turn into a place with no ties, as anonymous as a motorway service station," Buratti said.

"Not everyone here is rich or Russian," added local councillor Michele Molino. "You look at the designer shops round here and we could be in London."

Despite the economic crisis that has kept some smart Muscovites at home, local estate agents expect up to 500 Russian families to descend this summer, following in the footsteps of super-rich visitors such as Roman Abramovich and splashing out up to €100,000 at a time to rent villas for the season – albeit a snip compared with the €20m reportedly paid out to buy the biggest villas nestling behind bougainvilleas between the broad beaches and Apuan Alps.

"Five million is the norm now, but if you go just a few miles inland prices drop by two thirds, which is where the locals have disappeared to," said a local estate agent, Umberto Giannecchini.

On the seafront, Humvees and Ferraris descend on beach clubs like Twiga, where €1,000 will reserve a table in the VIP section and Russians spend up to €15,000 on a night out.

It is all a far cry from Forte dei Marmi's 16th-century origins, when Michelangelo built a road from quarries inland to load marble on to waiting ships. The artistic tradition continued into the 20th century with the arrival of Thomas Mann, Aldous Huxley, Giacomo Puccini and Henry Moore, followed by industrial dynasties such as the Agnellis and the Morattis.

"Despite their wealth, the Italians here have always loved elegant simplicity and understatement," said hotelier Paolo Corchia, pointing to the tradition of CEOs and aristocrats shopping by bicycle at the town's family-run shops. Where those stores once proliferated, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Miu Miu – with a shop window full of coyote fur stoles – now draw in the Russians.

The Milanese agree with the locals' revolt. "I want to bring the local artisans back in the centre," said Milly Moratti, wife of Inter Milan chairman Massimo, "the fabulous tailors and focaccia bread sellers I remember as a child that have been almost completely replaced by designer stores."

Holding out on Forte dei Marmi's main square is Vale, the bakery which has turned out focaccia since 1924. "We are thinking of selling up since our traditional clientele is dying out and the Russians don't like focaccia," said the owner, Daniela Nardine, though the mayor's intervention may yet change her mind.

Born and bred in Forte dei Marmi and the son of a tailor, Mayor Buratti said he is seeking to preserve a local culture handed down from the fierce tribes who defied the Roman empire and the Roman slaves who later settled, leaving traces of their accent in the local dialect. But he is not getting too misty eyed. "The locals were the first to profit from the rising house prices by selling up and buying houses in the hinterland," he said. "That is why there will be a ban on selling the new houses for 20 years."

If he can defend local stock from extinction, Buratti is happy for some of the Russians to stay, generously conceding that the visitors from the east have become more refined over the years.

"They have come a long way from the early 90s, when they would order the most expensive Brunello red on the menu then dilute it with water," he said. Locals recount how one oligarch even bought a bicycle and hired an Italian cycling champ to teach him to ride it.

But at the Piero beach club, a family-run bastion of old-fashioned wooden huts and blue-blooded sunbathers, the Russians are still few and far between. "Visitors here must understand you don't need to show off," said manager Roberto Santini. "The Russians come in, look around, wonder why we are a landmark, then leave."

As lifeguard Lionello Sacchelli watched over bathers including a former Italian finance minister and a football star, he recalled his favourite bather, Florentine aristocrat Anna Corsini, who was taking dips until she died last year at 98. "She was exquisite," he said. "She didn't care about designer labels and always said 'please' and 'thank you'."

Amateur Unearths 52,000 Roman Coins worth $1M in the UK

London, England (CNN) -- An amateur treasure hunter armed with a metal detector has found over 52,000 Roman coins worth $1 million buried in field, one of the largest ever such finds in the UK, said the British Museum.


Dave Crisp, a hospital chef, came across the buried treasure while searching for "metal objects" in a field near Frome, Somerset in southwestern England.
Initially, Crisp found 21 coins, but when he unearthed the pot, he knew he needed archaeological help to excavate them.


The hoard contains 766 coins bearing an image of the Roman general Marcus Aurelius Carausius, who ruled Britain independently from AD 286 to AD 293 and was the first Roman emperor to strike coins in Britain.



Somerset County Council archaeologists excavated the pot -- a type of container normally used for storing food -- it weighed 160kg (350 pounds) and contained 52,500 coins.
The hoard was transferred to the British Museum in London where the coins were cleaned and recorded.


The coins date from AD 253 to 293 and most of them are made of debased silver or bronze.
Roger Bland, Head of Portable Antiquities and Treasure at the British Museum, told CNN: "Dave [Crisp] did the right thing, he didn't try to dig it all out. This is the largest ever find in a single pot and the second largest ever [in the UK].


"We think that whoever buried it didn't intend to come back to recover it. We can only guess why people buried treasure, some buried savings, others because they feared an invasion, perhaps this was an offering to the Gods."



Bland said the coins were probably worth about $1 million.


Dave Crisp, from Devizes in Wiltshire, told CNN: "At the time when I actually found the pot I didn't know what size it was but when the archaeologists came and started to uncover it, I was gobsmacked, I thought 'hell, this is massive.'"


Crisp, who describes himself as a "metal detectorist," unearthed the pot in April, although the discovery was officially announced on Thursday. Crisp told CNN he would have to split the value of the find with the farmer who owns the field in which he discovered the treasure.
Somerset Coroner Tony Williams is scheduled to hold an inquest on July 22 to formally determine whether the find is subject to the Treasure Act 1996. This would help towards determining a value of the hoard should any individual or organization want to buy it.


Source:   BBC    click here to see photos and video

Italian Beach Hotels to be powered by Solar Energy

Germany-based Conergy has signed an agreement to build five solar installations with a total power output of 3.6 MW for Italy-based hotel group BluSerena. Conergy will install the power plants at the group's five beach resorts.

The hotel chain will power up to three-quarters of its hotel rooms using solar electricity, thereby saving up to 78% on electricity costs, according to Conergy. The installations are planned for resorts in Apulia, Sicily, Sardinia and Calabria. Currently, three of these power stations are under construction.

1,000,000 Vuvuzela's in Genova?

If you've been following World Cup 2010 - you know what a vuvuzela is.   Can you believe that Genova has orders 1,000,000 Vuvuzela's -- that's more than 1 per person.    There's a young man across the street who used to play his nightly when the World Cup games were on - especially Italy.   Can you imagine what lots of these would sound like?

Now ... if they played like the Germans it wouldn't be so bad.   Check this out.

Garibaldi

The photo above was taken on May 7, 2010 by my husband following the President of Italy's visit to Genoa on May 5th to commemorate Garibaldi's march of the redshirts.   Garibaldi's statue in front of the Genoa Opera house is about 5 minutes from where we live.  We really like the red cape on the statue.  It makes for a great screen saver.

Giuseppe Garibaldi has been dubbed the "Hero of the Two Worlds" in tribute to his military expeditions in both South America and Europe.  He is considered an Italian national hero as he led the insurrection that led to the freedom of Italian lands from the French and Austrians and led to the formation of modern Italy.

At the beginning of April 1860, uprisings in Messina and Palermo in the independent and peaceful Kingdom of the Two Sicilies provided Garibaldi with an opportunity. He gathered about a thousand volunteers (practically all northern Italians, and called i Mille (the Thousand), or, as popularly known, the Redshirts) in two ships named Piemonte and Lombardo, left from Genoa on May 5 in the evening and landed at Marsala, on the westernmost point of Sicily, on May 11.

Swelling the ranks of his army with scattered bands of local rebels, Garibaldi led 800 of his volunteers to victory over a 1500-strong enemy force on the hill of Calatafimi on May 15. He used the counter-intuitive tactic of an uphill bayonet charge; he had seen that the hill on which the enemy had taken position was terraced, and the terraces gave shelter to his advancing men. Although small by comparison with the coming clashes at Palermo, Milazzo and Volturno, this battle was decisive in terms of establishing Garibaldi's power in the island; an apocryphal but realistic story had him say to his lieutenant Nino Bixio, Qui si fa l'Italia o si muore, that is, Here we either make Italy, or we die. In reality, the Neapolitan forces were ill guided, and most of its higher officers had been bought out. The next day, he declared himself dictator of Sicily in the name of Victor Emmanuel II of Italy. He advanced then to Palermo, the capital of the island, and launched a siege on May 27. He had the support of many of the inhabitants, who rose up against the garrison, but before the city could be taken, reinforcements arrived and bombarded the city nearly to ruins. At this time, a British admiral intervened and facilitated an armistice, by which the Neapolitan royal troops and warships surrendered the city and departed.

Garibaldi had won a single victory. He gained worldwide renown and the adulation of Italians. Faith in his prowess was so strong that doubt, confusion, and dismay seized, even the Neapolitan court. Six weeks later, he marched against Messina in the east of the island. There was a ferocious and difficult battle at Milazzo, but Garibaldi won through. By the end of July, only the citadel resisted.

Having finished the conquest of Sicily, he crossed the Strait of Messina, with the help of the British Navy, and marched northward. Garibaldi's progress was met with more celebration than resistance, and on September 7 he entered the capital city of Naples, by train. Despite taking Naples, however, he had not to this point defeated the Neapolitan army. Garibaldi's volunteer army of 24,000 was not able to defeat conclusively the reorganized Neapolitan army (about 25,000 men) on September 30 at the Battle of Volturno. This was the largest battle he ever fought, but its outcome was effectively decided by the arrival of the Piedmontese Army. Following this, Garibaldi's plans to march on to Rome were jeopardized by the Piedmontese, technically his ally but unwilling to risk war with France, whose army protected the Pope. (The Piedmontese themselves had conquered most of the Pope's territories in their march south to meet Garibaldi, but they had deliberately avoided Rome, his capital.) Garibaldi chose to hand over all his territorial gains in the south to the Piedmontese and withdrew to Caprera and temporary retirement. Some modern historians consider the handover of his gains to the Piedmontese as a political defeat, but he seemed willing to see Italian unity brought about under the Piedmontese crown. The meeting at Teano between Garibaldi and Victor Emmanuel II is the most important event in modern Italian history, but is so shrouded in controversy that even the exact site where it took place is in doubt.

Source:  Wikipedia

A Possible Solar Bubble in Italy?

The world's photovoltaic industry is heading for a shake-out with big Chinese and US manufacturers of solar modules competing for dominance in Europe as smaller companies suffer from a collapse of prices and lower subsidies.

Executives speaking at the Italian PV Summit and trade fair in Verona last week were heartened by higher forecasts of demand for solar power made by the Paris-based International Energy Agency but they also warned of the dangers of a bubble forming in fast-growing Italy following the bursting of the Spanish market last year.

Ingmar Wilhelm, vice-president of Enel's renewables division, said the Italian utility did not intend to take part in the expected consolidation process. Enel is investing with Sharp of Japan and STMicroelectronics, a joint Italian-French company, in a plant in Sicily to produce modules using the latest triple-junction thin-film technology.

Executives spoke of the "pain" and "turbulence" in the solar modules market last year and stressed the importance of governments, particularly Italy, making sustainable, long-term decisions on feed-in tariffs - the subsidies paid for the electricity produced as the industry moves towards "grid parity" where its prices are competitive with other sources.

Source Financial times.   Read the full article here.

Eni-MIT Solar Frontiers Research Center

Susan Hockfield, MIT's president, and Paolo Scaroni, CEO of Italian oil company Eni, on Tuesday officially dedicated the Eni-MIT Solar Frontiers Research Center. Eni invested $5 million into the center, which is also receiving a $2 million National Science Foundation grant, said Vladimir Bulovic, the center's director. 

The center has recently reported the ability to print solar cells on paper.

For more details about the MIT research, click here.

Italy Is A Smart Grid Pioneer

In the early days of commercial electric power, transmission of electric power at the same voltage as used by lighting and mechanical loads restricted the distance between generating plant and consumers.

In 1882 electrical plants produced only direct current.   However, because different users required different voltages electricity specialization of lines and because transmission was so inefficient that generators needed to be near their loads, it seemed at the time that the industry would develop into what is now known as a distributed generation system with large numbers of small generators located nearby their loads.

One of the earliest pioneers of long distance electrical transmission was built in Cerchi, Italy in 1886.

On May 16, 1888, Nikola Tesla delivered a lecture entitled A New System of Alternating Current Motors and Transformers, describing the equipment which allowed efficient generation and use of polyphase alternating currents. The transformer, and Tesla's polyphase and single-phase induction motors, were essential for a combined AC distribution system for both lighting and machinery. Ownership of the rights to the Tesla patents was a key advantage to the Westinghouse Company in offering a complete alternating current power system for both lighting and power. Regarded as one of the most influential electrical innovations, the universal system used transformers to step-up voltage from generators to high-voltage transmission lines.

By allowing multiple generating plants to be interconnected over a wide area, electricity production cost was reduced. The most efficient available plants could be used to supply the varying loads during the day. Reliability was improved and capital investment cost was reduced, since stand-by generating capacity could be shared over many more customers and a wider geographic area. Remote and low-cost sources of energy, such as hydroelectric power or mine-mouth coal, could be exploited to lower energy production cost.

The rapid industrialization in the 20th century made electrical transmission lines and grids a critical part of the infrastructure in most industrialized nations. Interconnection of local generation plants and small distribution networks was greatly spurred by the requirements of World War I, where large electrical generating plants were built by governments to provide power to munitions factories. Later these plants were connected to supply civil load through long-distance transmission.

Nikola Tesla's ideas have served us well for 120 years - but now with concerns about global warming, increased dependence on electrical appliances, developments in information technology and renewable energy - there is a need for for an even more efficient and optimizing system.   This new concept, which is referred to as the smart grid.

The earliest, and still largest, example of a smart grid is the Italian system installed by Enel S.p.A. of Italy. Completed in 2005, the Telegestore project was highly unusual in the utility world because the company designed and manufactured their own meters, acted as their own system integrator, and developed their own system software. The Telegestore project is widely regarded as the first commercial scale use of smart grid technology to the home, and delivers annual savings of 500 million euro at a project cost of 2.1 billion euro.

Let's hear it for Italian engineering and innovation.   In my opinion it doesn't get the worldwide recognition that it deserves.

The Whale Says Thank You

If you read a recent front page story of the SF Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale that had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the  Farallon Islands  (outside the Golden Gate )  and radioed an environmental group for help.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was  so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around...she was thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you.

And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

I pass this on to you, my friends, in the same spirit

Italy To Plug In Idling Cruise Ships

Italian port cities are planning to connect large ships like cruise liners to the grid while they're berthed to cut fuel consumption and potentially slash carbon dioxide emissions by 30 percent and nitrogen oxides and particulate pollution by more than 95 percent.

Venice, Paolo Costa, La Spezia and Lorenzo Forcieri are all expected to install new equipment to allow the ships to plug in to shore-side electricity.  Other cities around the world are experimenting with the same idea, including Los Angeles and Goteborg, Sweden, hoping to eliminate the fuel needs and emissions of onboard generators.

The Italian electricity utility Enel foresees large reductions in pollution and fuel consumption from the practice, but since so far only a few ships are compatible with on-shore electricity, we won't know the full benefits until ports and ships are equipped and the generators are turned off.

Written by Megan Treacy on 02/02/10 

English Language Humor

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH (you might need an Italian English dictionary for these):

 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

 5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

 8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED
 PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Things in Italy are Better than in Dubai

Thousands of children are forced to miss daytime school

Kathryn Lewis

• Last Updated: December 26. 2009 12:42AM UAE / December 25. 2009 8:42PM GMT

Basma Yaslam, 10, from Yemen , left, and Noor Gawdat, 9, from Palestine, attend night classes at the National Charity School in Dubai. Nicole Hill / The National

DUBAI // One in seven children in Dubai is not receiving regular daytime schooling and instead attends classes in the afternoon or the evening, according to education authorities.

The figure, a total of 27,000 children missing from regular classes, was released to The National by the Knowledge and Human Development Authority (KHDA), which oversees schools in Dubai.

A further 1,300 children are on waiting lists to get into abridged classes at charity schools, at which fees can be as little as Dh4,000 (US$1,100) a year compared with several times that amount for private schools. Several Indian and Pakistani schools offer afternoon shifts, along with charity schools.

Charity schools, a network of bare-bones academies that cater to the children of low-income Arab expatriates, offer afternoon and evening classes for those who cannot afford daytime private education. The catch is that charity classes offer fewer classroom hours, and teachers at some schools are working double shifts to cope.

“The numbers have increased because of the economic state of the parents,” said Mohammed Robin Edris, the general director of National Charity Schools (NCS). “Many of them have decreased salaries, and many lost their jobs.”

He said there had been a flood of new applicants to the three branches of the Arabic-language charity schools in Dubai, Sharjah and Ajman.

One woman who moved her daughter to NCS this year after her wages were cut said: “I am the only one working and I can not afford to pay Hanan’s fees and the rent.” A year ago she was paying Dh16,000 for a private day school. Now she is paying around Dh4,000 to send her daughter to NCS in the evening.

At least 800 new children enrolled in the charity schools this autumn – some of them taking the places of what Dr Edris called an unusually high number of families leaving the country. “All of them have left either because they lost their jobs or because the money isn’t enough to support a family,” he said. 

The school opened a branch in Ajman this year to provide space for more students, but there are still 1,059 children on the NCS waiting list. Demand remains highest in the northern emirates.

“We need another school in Sharjah,” Dr Edris said. “I have about 40 buses carrying students from Dubai to Sharjah and Ajman.”

The National Charity School was established in 1983 by the Emirati businessman and philanthropist Juma al Majid around the time that public schools stopped admitting the children of Arab expatriates working in the private sector.

Expatriates were allowed back into state schools in 2006, but only in limited numbers: no more than one in five pupils can be non-Emirati, and to be eligible students must pass entrance exams.

Those who do qualify also pay tuition fees to the Government.

Over the past decade, enrolment at the NCS has nearly doubled, and the schools are now at full capacity at 10,259 students.

“There are smart students, some of them get the highest grades on the secondary national exam, but life forces them to live this way,” Dr Edris said. “It is not healthy. You think the teacher’s brain is working for 12 hours. No, it’s not.”

Dr Edris pointed to other problems with evening sessions: the school day is shorter, ending at 8.30pm, and it has a negative effect on family life.

“We have to give them only four hours,” he said. “We can’t keep them until midnight. Our teachers, they have to go home, sleep, spend some time with their families. It is very painful.”

Dr Edris said 75 per cent of the teaching staff in the boys’ school worked a double shift. The rest come from Dubai’s public and private schools, working at night to supplement low wages.

“This is the only way to cope with the situation,” he said.

klewis@thenational.ae